Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
