Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
