Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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