I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
