like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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