I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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