i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
