The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
