We won't sleep together?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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