oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
