it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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