playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
