ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
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Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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