i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
