I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i drank out of a bidet.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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