Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
