Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
