I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize