we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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