I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize