alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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