Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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