On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
