The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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