Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
