Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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