what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
