mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
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Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
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I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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