my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
