do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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