Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
