I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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