My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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