You're completely useless in the revolution.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
