Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
