D3 body, D1 cock
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
