Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet