I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom