Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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