It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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