i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
