Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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