Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
