Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
