Grow some girl-balls and come out already
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
false alarm, still single
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