Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
