why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
