He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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