Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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