Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
