I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
