So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
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Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
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He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good