Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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