if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
