are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
