So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
