Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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