whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Drake has all the answers
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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