she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
