Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You dont lie about slip and slides
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize