Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize