I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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